it is time to break from my break, after taking a month off from painting large canvases.. i am learning [slowly] that periods of intensity [such as working on deadline] invariably trigger a mood episode. the cycle usually begins with an elevated [hypomanic] state- frenetic, driven, spinning, and primal.. this state has always been a huge part of my successes, and most often carries me through to the end.. but then- adrenalin depleted- brain chemistry shifts and i begin a slide to the opposite end of the spectrum. this time i experienced an unusually gentle fall, while allowing myself to rest- something i am realizing the necessity of in order to keep myself stable.
unfortunately, this also involves a struggle to get going again. it involves working through fear, which we as artists do again and again and again. i believe if we are not often outside of our comfort zone, then we are stagnating and not truly growing as an artist.
so now i begin.. a new body of work swirls in my brain, slowly solidifying and coming to life.. as my paintings are a profound expression of the things that exist in my mind and my heart, i have decided that i want to use myself as my models, and will begin the photo shoots this week. groups of me will interact- the many pieces and aspects of me coming together. what they will mean, i do not yet know, but they always reveal their stories as or after the paintings are completed.
i will share some of these new paintings as they progress..